(Note: This column appears in Community Newspapers.)

 

By Charles Sykes

 My book, “The 50 Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School,” is being officially released today.  

The book is dedicated to the proposition that what young people need today is not more vague sappy nostrums about “being yourself,” or “following your bliss” -- what they need is a reality check that tells them that life isn’t fair, they aren’t entitled, and the world won’t be caring about their feelings quite as much as mommy and daddy do. In other words, it is intended as an antidote to our culture of complacency and indulgence. 

But one of the rules that may get overlooked is Number 49: “Don’t forget to say thank you.” Feel free to share it with a kid you know:

“As often as you say “It’s my life,” the fact is that it’s not, at least not yet and not exclusively. You hold the lives of others in your own as well. Remember that you matter to others because what you do affects them more deeply than you probably can guess right now.  

“You cannot begin to imagine how much time, effort, and love have gone into raising you since the miraculous moment of your birth: changing your diapers, feeding you baby food that you spit all over your bib, reading you to sleep, watching your first step, taking you to the bus for the first day of school, making you dinner, buying you clothes, dressing you, cleaning up after you, shopping for your Christmas presents, helping you with homework, bandaging the cuts, building those silly dioramas the night before they are due, signing you up for swimming lessons, taking you to the doctor for your ear infection; the family road trips where you asked ‘Are we there yet?’ fifty thousand times; driving you to lessons and games in the minivan; attending your soccer games, concerts, band performances, and parent teacher conferences; paying for your braces, hearing you say you hate them; helping you with your first date; lying awake at night worrying; graduations; saving for your college tuition; the anxieties, fears, and moments of incredible satisfaction, surprise, hope, and pride.  

 

It wouldn’t hurt to show some gratitude. 

 

Spoiled brats think they had all of this coming as a matter of right, so they miss the remarkable gift they have been given. It may not even occur to them to say thanks.

 

For those of you who have a better sense of what you owe, the problem is more difficult. Just how do you say thank you for a life and for lifetime of gifts and service? How do you pay it back? Somehow, a Hallmark card just doesn’t cut it.”...