"What's the best way to parent a really smart kid?" That was the question I asked PJ Manney during Sunday's FastForward Radio show. Specifically, I wanted to know... "Do you bring attention to their intelligence to build them up, or do you play it down?"

I thought PJ's answer during the show was very good, but she emailed some further thoughts:

I think "self-esteem" is highly overrated, and if overdone, is potentially destructive to a young person's ambition and quality of life. It's fascinating that the most productive and satisfied people in the world were those who were NOT told they were God's gift to every moment of every day. They had to struggle and learn to live up to life's challenges. And we need to challenge our kids more. Get them out in the world interacting with it without them knowing they've got a net under their trapeze. Especially if they're smart. Or they get bored and complacent. Not good.

So I finished with you guys and I found my husband in our bedroom reading to our kids. They're 11 and 9. The book is called, "50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School" by Charles Sykes.

Here are some of those rules:

• 1. Life is not fair. Get use to it.
• 9. Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't.
• 14. Looking like a slut does not empower you.
• 30. Zero tolerance=zero common sense.
• 33. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
• 35. If your butt has its own zip code, it's not because McDonald's forced you to eat all those Big Macs. If you smoke, it's not Joe Camel's fault.
• 36. You are not immortal.
• 48. Tell yourself the story of your life. Have a point.

Strange bedtime reading you may ask? Well I bought it for him to read, because my husband has a lot of kid interaction -- he was the cub scout pack master for Malibu and now he's assistant scout leader of my son's troop. He's also a big volunteer with our school, like chaperoning the 5th grade to Yosemite for a week. And he's not impressed with what he sees in today's youth in general (or maybe it's just SoCal youth... but I doubt it). And I thought he'd get a kick out of the book. It has the same pragmatic, funny take on life my husband has. Maybe because both the author and he are originally from Wisconsin! It's those classic Midwestern ethics. Eric thought he'd try it out on the kids to see what they think.

They LOVED it and thought it was hilarious and true. They can't wait for Daddy to continue it.

My 9 year old daughter says to me as I'm tucking her in, "Mommy, you should read that book. I think you'll really be surprised at the attitudes in it and you might learn something." When I asked her which rules she liked best so far, she said, "'Looking like a slut does not empower you.' I can't wait to say that to the girls who ask me why I don't wear low riders and a thong." From the mouths of babes... although not too surprising in a community where Pam Anderson is a PTA mom and Britney Spears is our former neighbor. Not exactly the kind of fashion (or any kind of) mentors you want for your kids!

Thanks again for a fun evening.

Take care,

PJ